Full circle moments

When my son Cooper was in burnout five years ago, I reached a point where I had to give up most screen time limits during the day. It was the pandemic, I had no help, and I was trying to keep everyone healthy, alive, and safe including myself and my 1-year-old.

Cooper needed constant one on one attention or would escalate and start equalizing against William in a dangerous way. I couldn’t get William outside for a bit of fresh air, because Cooper wouldn’t leave the house.

I finally decided to drop my 1-hour-a-day screen-time limit for the sake of my marriage, my mental health and my younger son’s safety. William and I would open the front door and putter around in the front yard, so I could still hear and peek in on what Cooper was watching inside.

One of the shows that Cooper watched over and over was called Larva. It was an animated creation with no words. There were two little larvae that made sounds and were constantly farting, picking boogers, drooling, and just being all around disgusting 🤢.

And any time I was in the room with Cooper (I was always within earshot) he would say “Look, look” repetitively until I watched. It felt like torture. Constant shrieks from these two little amoebas as they ate poop and vomited into each others’ mouths.

I worried at the time that there was something wrong with Cooper, even though I also realized that the show let his brain rest and just laugh because he didn’t have to process verbal information.

Now, as I write this years later, I am sitting on the floor watching the SAME show with both boys. My line of vision is my own and I am healed enough to see that actually, it is kind of funny in an absurd way. It is also in the context of Cooper not watching screens 12 hours a day. Instead, it is an hour or so, by his choosing.

William (6), is currently curled up next to me and wrapped in a big blanket, while Cooper (10) sits above me on the couch telling me to watch when it gets ridiculous, but also letting me write. He knows I don’t like the show, but I keep laughing despite myself. And what I do like is this connection and peace that we can find even with all the constraints we face as a family. These are the moments I prayed for five years ago (although without the Larva included, lol).