Splitting the kids...again

Tomorrow William (6) and I fly to Arizona to visit my mom and stepdad for the kids’ spring break. Our plans include touching a cactus (very carefully!) , confirming that Nana's house is not made of sand even though it is in the desert, and visiting an outdoor museum to see snakes, javelinas and other animals that don’t hang out where we live. 

My husband is staying behind to take Cooper (10) fishing for steelheads in a very cold river a few hours’ drive away from our home. They will then hopefully catch the last snow of the season in northern Michigan and do some skiing together.

For the past year, our family has been experimenting with more “family togetherness” after three years of separating the kids for all holidays, vacations, and weekends. Cooper’s cumulative nervous system stress had come down enough so that he was no longer constantly equalizing against William and the costs were no longer so high of spending time as a family.  

Yet now, as my littlest seems closer to his own burnout and needing more one on one attention, autonomy, and nervous system safety, we are faced again with familiar and hard decisions. I am leaning in to separating the kids more for a season, letting go of expectations, and peeling back yet another layer of that acceptance onion.

In times like these when I feel that solid ground has shifted under me, I turn back to the spiritual practices, poetry, and books that keep me steady in the uncertainty.

Of late, these have been: a return to my yoga studio, a more concerted attempt to get on my meditation pillow (!), and re-reading Radical Acceptance, To Bless the Space Between Us, and Man's Search for Meaning.

Finally, here is part of a poem that I wanted to share with you by Dorothy Hunt, in case it feels supportive. 

Peace is this moment without judgment.
That is all. This moment in the Heart-space
where everything that is is welcome.
Peace is this moment without thinking
that it should be some other way,
that you should feel some other thing,
that your life should unfold according to your plans. 

Peace is this moment without judgment,
this moment in the Heart-space where
everything that is is welcome.

Sending love,